Chapter 9 ; Teacake

“ Ships at a distance have every MAN’S wish on board’ , great opening sentence . It’s not quite “ Call me Ishmael “ but arresting , especially with how the next paragraph explicates the very different manner by which women process their dreams. “

So starts Sophie’s notes on the novel she’s given me .

Enjoying this on a “ship “ sailing now over Pennsylvania and will have finished it before landing on the west coast. Donna is already asleep in her seat and snoring nearly as loudly as her mom does , Daisy is reading real estate and small business articles Dad put together for her.

Later in the novel Sophie has done a breakdown of metaphors involving a pear tree , pears, and bees that Hurston has poetically teased out into beautiful analogies of sexuality and a heightened love as created by her protagonist Janie . Soph is wondering if she could lead an in depth classroom discussion on these themes without it devolving into a battle of the sexes . She fears if “ Susie from the Bronx “ sinks her teeth into this the boys will be getting emasculated so opts instead to focus more on the contrast between Janie’s three husbands and the potential contradictions between true love and independant agency or self sufficiency . I’m thinking I’d like to meet these kids and clue them into the fact that 20, 30, 40 years from now many of them will still be indulging a deep love of literature and fondly remembering the English teacher who gifted it to them.

Dad drove us to Newark , I felt a little guilty as I know he has a lot to catch up on at the bank but he wouldn’t hear of us using the car service. A shame , Donna and I both really enjoyed the Turkish driver and his silly stories , she wants me to grow a mustache like his , way too Salvador Dali !

Imre meets us at the airport and is apologizing for we know not what . He finally gets it together enough as we are grabbing our luggage to clearly explain he’d had a fender bender with the Impala . He knows I love that vehicle ( she and I have been through a lot together) and he doesn’t yet know that when we pull up stakes I shall bequeath it to him . As to that Daisy and I are currently at loggerheads and Donna is down on both of us. Daisy is insisting that I finish my last semester and graduate then join her and Donna back in New Jersey .

I understand where she is coming from , I’ve looked into transferring and getting my degree elsewhere . It is doable but would cost money and extra time . According to quite a few people in the know here at school even the best of colleges are greedy and have egos. They’ll randomly not accept some credits making one more or less repeat courses. More importantly Daisy is right that I love this school , the memories of the last 3 years are priceless to me . My diploma should certainly be from St Mary’s College of California .

So while I hate the idea of being seperated by 3000 miles with Daisy on her own having to deal with acclimating a now slightly rebellious adolescent to a new life , launching a business venture , and helping her uncle to heal and find his footing , it appears to be the best or most common sensical of our options . Of course like it or not she will also have to negotiate an on again off again alcoholic Shirley .

For Donna’s 10th birthday we managed to secure 4 tickets to Candlestick Park where this Pearl Harbor Day Frisco will be hosting New Orleans . The seats were free , Carla’s parents have season box tickets , with the Niner’s being mediocre at best and Archie Manning’s Saints winless they are opting out . The three of us along with Beth were bundled up as it was chilly and the wind would be whipping through the stadium . Also well armed with a thermos of real hot chocolate , coffee ,and a flask of southern comfort.

Saturday night I did the kid her birthday dinner , giant cheeseburgers, mashed potatoes, and chocolate milkshakes . After dinner she asked me to read her something and I recalled I’d not even unpacked the little treasure I’d gotten in the Village last summer . We planted ourselves on the beanbag couch while her mom did kitchen clean-up duty.

I figured Donna would either love or hate it and which it was would be obvious a verse or so in . I got turned on to the nonsense epic poem by Irene my first year in high school , she once told me her love for Lewis Carroll bordered on the sacrilegious and that she reread The Hunting of the Snark on her birthday every year.

I’d forgotten just how much I enjoyed this poem , was immersed and in the zone reading wise from the get go. I could see Donna was amused at first and starting to tumble down the rabbit hole , as it were , by verse 2 .

By part 3, she was totally hooked

Fit the Third

The Baker’s Tale

“They roused him with muffins - they roused him with ice-
They roused him with mustard and cress -
They roused him with jam and judicious advice -
They set him conundrums to guess.”

The baker , and I , continue the tale with the poor benighted baker suffering multiple interruptions . My first interruption would come by a very loud laugh from Daisy, who’d somehow joined us on the bean bag unnoticed .

" You may seek it with thimbles - and seek it with care;
You may hunt it with forks and hope;
You may it threaten its life with a railway-share;
You may charm it with smiles and hope - "

Donna would be the next to interrupt the narrative .

" But oh, beamish nephew, beware of the day ,
If your Snark be a Boojum ! For then
You will softly and suddenly vanish away ,
And never be met with again ! "

“ That’s it ! That is going to be my puppy’s name , Boo-jum ! “

“ Wow , are you sure kid ? Boojums are dangerous . ”

“ Stop overthinking it Danny , Boojum it is honey “

Later that evening Carla, Linda, and Mary stopped up with homemade cards and presents for the birthday girl. Leaving here is going to be tough.

We got to Candlestick a little early , far from a sellout but a larger crowd than I’d anticipated . Decent amount of tailgating going on , saw one guy grilling steaks that looked like something out of The Flintstones . Seats were mezzanine on top of the 40 yard line , Carla’s folks must be serious fans because this shit costs serious coin. There’s a family of 4 seated in front of us . Tim , the dad , makes introductions and wants to apologize up front for being a Saints fan. He tells me he attended Ole Miss during the Archibald Manning era ten years ago and never missed a home game . The girls pretend to boo but they are already making friends with his two young daughters.

The first half is flat out awful .The Niners offense can get nothing moving , no doubt the notoriously poor condition of the field is part of the problem ,except the Saints are lighting it up ! When the players trot into the locker room N.O. is winning 35-7 , the Niners lone touchdown came via a punt return . The not very heavy crowd to start has visibly thinned out. Were having a great time though , the girls are pumping Tim for insider football info. They’re thrilled when they learn a play ,unsuccessfully attempted by Manning , is called a “ flea flicker” and struggle to contain their laughter when learning the quarterback mostly throws to his tight ends and wide receivers . I’m a bit baffled as to where this interest comes from ,Daisy informs me Liz told her they both have a thing for the school’s “ Golden Boy” who is a little Pop Warner league star QB.

At the start of the second quarter Beth loudly exclaims “ I gotta. pee” this sets Tim and Sue’s young daughters into a spate of giggles . Daisy starts to apologize but Sue stops her by pointing out that were the Saints losing we’d be hearing way worse words than “ pee”. I volunteer to walk the kids up to the restrooms and make a food and drink run. I tell Beth that before we leave we will pick out a souvenir to get for her parents . Beth tells me her mom made her promise to bring Joe Montana home , Daisy says we’ve got an issue because she’d promised the same thing to Carla and Mary.

The girls are now totally sugared up , we let them wander around this part of the mezzanine where they are leading sections in tepid “Go Niners” cheers and dancing.

Things get a little more interesting in the third quarter . After a well executed drive Montana would score on a one yard rush . Before the quarter ended Niner’s receiver Dwight Clark takes a short pass and turns it into a 71 yard touchdown run . Fourth quarter , with 10 minutes left in the game trying to capitalize on a Saints fumble Montana has the team at midfield looking at fourth and one. Converting the first down he’d patiently lead a drive into the end zone scoring with a beautifully thrown pass under heavy pressure to Freddie Solomon. With under three minutes left another methodical drive ends with a touchdown and tie game . I’m pretty sure everyone still left in the stadium , including our new friend poor Timmy, knew how this was ending . After seven minutes of overtime play a 36 yard field goal would put Manning out of his misery . The hapless “ Aints” would finish the year at 1-15.

As for Montana while he is already becoming a fan favorite here in town a lot of football people write him off as not star quarterback material mostly citing a lack of arm strength , he sure looks like a winner to us though . The girls went in as agnostic at best concerning the sport and left lifelong Niner fans, even Daisy was impressed . Donna’s last birthday in the Bay Area is surely one for the books.

Daisy had hoped to be back in NJ before Christmas but Ted and Mom put the kibosh on that in no uncertain terms . I’m sure Ted is deeply moved by what Daisy is doing but he is understandably uncomfortable with the idea of us uprooting our lives for his sake. We did our best to convince him that the plans for the move predated the tragedy, he’s skeptical. Regardless he is adamant that he wants to be alone with his grief for this his first holiday season without his son . Mom surprised us by 100% supporting him , she has promised to look after him as much as possible and told him that on the 24th Dad and she would be taking him out for food and drink and on Christmas Day there would be a quiet early family dinner for the three of them along with Tracy and Sophie. It looks like if everything here is in order ,Daisy and Donna will be flying home a day or two after New Years.

And things are falling into place better than could have been be reasonably expected . The three way deal between Karen , Daisy, and Linda is all but finalized, it is complicated and simple , predicated on honest trust and friendship put down on paper by a top flight city law firm . Linda appears 100 % ready for this, she has the full support of her husband who strikes all of us as a very together and straight up dude. We have decided I will stay in the apartment and pay a rent equal to what the market would likely dictate . Come summer when I move out most of the furniture and such will stay allowing Linda to rent the place out as a furnished apartment in a prime location providing a nice year round cash flow source.

One thing that won’t be staying behind though ( Daisy thinks I’m giving it to Karen ) is the Easter Cactus ( Rhipsalidopsis gaertneri) sent to comfort me during my infamous sojourn at a Pennsylvania hospital by Daisy via Max on what feels like a million years ago. The beauty has grown to be a foot or so high , almost two feet in diameter and blooms in the spring. I have already arranged to have it shipped via Greyhound Bus package services , not cheap , worth every penny. The card that accompanied the plant I keep in an old Fazi Battaglia wine box with all manner of cards ,letters, and photos that hold personal meaning . Recently rifling through the box I came across a pic of Max and I at ten or so in our little league baseball uniforms eating ice cream cones with our dads standing behind us looking all proud , and a tad goofy , brought on lots of tears.

Christmas this year won’t be the same but we seem to have come to an unspoken agreement to do everything possible to make it special for Donna . Daisy took her and Beth shopping on pier 39 and while there had two basically identical portraits of the girls facing each other done by a top flight caricaturist , then got them both framed and matted . Donna has been growing more and more sullen but that one made her smile and hug her mom like in the old days. And as always when that happens Daisy called her a “ gummy little leach.”

Friday , six days before Christmas and I just got in from my final class of the year. Donna is home alone sitting on the couch looking at me funny . I’m surprised because we‘re a little pressed for time . We had planned on a movie night along with hitting our favorite burrito place on Mission Street. I wanted to see a flick everyone on campus was buzzing about “ The Gods Must Be Crazy “ , from South Africa .I’m told it is part slapstick , part romance ,and part an adventure film that makes a brilliant philosophical commentary on the state of the modern world via a Coke bottle dropped from an airplane . Carla and Mary just saw the new comedy “Airplane “ , Mary tells Donna it was so funny she peed in her pants at least 5 times , so Airplane it is.

“ Where’s your mom kiddo, is everything alright? “

“ She had to run out to talk to the girls “

“ Okay, that’s not a lot of information , what is with that look, is something going on?”

“ Daisy’s preggers “

Before I could respond or even absorb this Daisy bursts in , after a quick glance at the two of us.

“ Jesus Donna, I thought I asked you to wait until I was back to tell him ? “

“ He forced it out of me mom. “

Somehow I’m on the couch, Daisy has her arm around me and Donna hands me a bottle of Becks.

“ I’m sorry Danny , I know this is too much right now . I was late and suspected something was up . Karen took me for the test 3 days ago and I got the results this morning . I didn’t want to worry you until I was sure .”

Usually I fall apart and suck during stressful or emergency situations , I vacillate or even panic , at least at first . This was different though . I was flooded with clarity and sureness .

“ I’m not worried Daisy , I am booking us for three tickets back home in two weeks. “

“Stop Danny , nothing is changing , I know you love us and you know I can handle this .”

“ Of course I know you can “handle “ this , but everything is changing . Call Karen , tell her before we leave we are getting married . After we’re official/legal I figure there’ll be fifteen of us or so for a little dinner celebration .”

“ Danny , it’s not that simple , there is a lot to talk about,and ….”

Before she can get anything more out Donna is all over us.

“ It is pretty much that simple , we were always going to get there and now’s the time. Also , get your coats , I want to enjoy my burrito before the film ! “

“ Okay , I guess if you put it like that we’re getting burritos , also understand that because I’m an old lady now my pediatrician says I shouldn’t drink , if I’m on the Shirley wagon so are you .”

Donna loves the last part as she thinks beer is the most odorous thing this side of the Berkeley Landfill.

The next morning a very tired Daisy ( we didn’t really sleep) heads to work . I’m walking Donna up to Beth’s , Ed and Liz are taking the girls to a play , we are early as I want to invite them to our celebration . Liz and Beth both squeal so loud at the news it almost frightens us.

When I get home Linda is waiting to pounce on me.

“ Hey dude , heard all about how you played it , aren’t you just the last of the fucking great romantics .”

“ C’mon Linda , I’d have love to have done it with pomp and circumstance but….”

“ Stop Danny , it’s just too easy to yank your chain , almost not fair. Here’s the deal though , Monday Daisy has to go to Sacramento about a big contract . You and I are going to see a jeweler friend of mine in the city about a wedding ring and a band . Bring your checkbook , we ain’t getting no hippie baubles , clear. “

“ Linda , did I ever tell you that you were my west coast Tracy? “

“ I’m taking that as a huge compliment . “

Later in the afternoon I called Mom who kind of shocked me by freaking out with excitement . She tried insisting that she and Dad were going to fly out for whatever celebration we were going to do which is idiotic , I promised we will set something up where we do family and friends at some place really steller in the city . Tracy is at first the old Tracy in that her response was “ It’s about goddamn time “ but from the way she called Sophie in for the news I could tell she was as happy as mom. Daisy said Ted burst out crying when she called him. He also told her Cheryl was able to come over and visit for a short bit. Her dad brought her , he said she is still weak and will struggle with walking for nobody knows how long , and is very self conscious about the scars.

We got married in a civil ceremony the day after Christmas . Karen , Linda , Imre and of course Donna were all there as witnesses . Linda’s friend hooked us up with a gold band ( which I have never gotten used to having on my finger) and for Daisy a Burmese Ruby & Diamond Cluster ring which is stunning. Daisy at first was livid on what the expense would be but when I took her and Donna for a fitting and they saw it she softened up enough that I’d not be sleeping on the couch as she’d threatened .

We did a wedding celebration cum farewell dinner party at Scoma’s on Fisherman’s Wharf . Everyone was told no gifts and everyone of them save the harmless yet reliably sketchy Imre ignored the stricture . It was an evening we’ll always remember though for sure it was hard seeing Donna and Beth so upset as the new reality of things was becoming real to them. On the plus side Ed tells me he is vice chairman of an American revolutionary war historians society , they deal with procuring and distributing grants for new projects and publish a major journal .The group meets at least once a year in Morristown at The Governor Morris Inn and he always brings Liz and Beth for what is usually a ten day trip. I ask him if the Governor Morris still does that Friday night seafood buffet with unlimited lobster . This sets Linda off .

“ Dude , how the hell , and why , do you know about the menu in a restaurant 3000 miles away ? “

Before I can answer Daisy responds

“ Of course he does Linda “

Beth then chimes in with

“ When they drop the lobsters into boiling water they scream “

She and Donna are both peas in a pod , Daisy and I are overjoyed they won’t be totally estranged .

On three trips to campus getting all my paperwork in order and picking up possessions in my dorm room I managed to find quite a few of my professors from over the years for farewells and sincere thank yous .

The six hour plane ride is peculiar in ways that feel fitting .Both Daisy and I were exhausted physically and emotionally . Donna was in surprisingly good spirits , when the stewardess asked if we wanted cocktails she informed her “ Mom’s pregnant , no booze “ The girl thought that charming and winked at her “ I guess nothing for dad then either “ , all three of them laughed at me. We’d all loved the incredibly silly Airplane movie last week , Donna is now reprimanding anyone she can with “ And don’t call me Shirley “ . She has also informed us that she gets a say in naming her little brother. I ask her how she knows it’s going to be a boy?

“ Obviously there’s enough girls in this family.”

I don’t tell her that we think she’s right and that Daisy and I already know what we’re naming him.

Chapter 10